Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

2 Is That Actual Shit Coming Out From Your Mouth?


It all happened at the Billionaire Karaoke.

It was BingBing’a birthday. Shi Mingway had organized a super luxurious celebration for her. He had invited around thirty classmates to join the celebration. The air was full of excitement.

“Give her a kiss! Give her a kiss!”

Having consumed some alcohol, the crowd had started to get really high. They were egging Shi and Bing on. Right at that moment, the door of the karaoke box opened. In came Chen.

“Why the hell are you here? You’re not welcome here!” Bing snapped coldly.

“Asshole, have you not given up? I’m the one who Bing loves. Please stop bringing shame to yourself by trying to make a scene here!” Shi drawled lazily.

Chen shook his head and said calmly, “Please don’t misunderstand my intentions. It has come to my realization that Bing and I are not meant to be together. We are of different worlds. There will be no happiness if I force her to be with me. I’m here to wish you and Bing a happy relationship. Also, to witness your happy moment.”

“I’m glad that you know your place. If you have come here to make a mess, I will make your life difficult!” Shi huffed, a slap-worthy smirk plastered on his face.

“Oh, where were we? Let’s continue!”

“A kiss! A kiss!”

“Master Shi! Give her a French kiss!”

“Hold the kiss for three minutes long!”

People around them were getting more and more excited. They took out their cellphones already prepared to record this moment. Shi swaggered towards Bing with a “wannabe-cool-guy” face. He used his left hand to hold Bing’s waist and his right hand to lift her chin up. Then, he proceeded to deliver a passionate French kiss. At the same time, Chen held a monkey fur in his palm and said, “Let there be a pile of shit in his mouth!”

Whoosh!

Chen blew on the monkey fur at their direction. “Shi, what’s in your mouth?” Bing asked and her eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

“Erm…”

Shi felt his own mouth filling up with something horrifying. His cheeks puffed up.

Blargh!

Shi puked out a stream of diluted, stinky, yellowish shit, smack on Bing’s face.

All his classmates were stunned. They were frozen on the spot. “What the f*ck! Master Shi! Did you just shit from your mouth?!” Chen cleared his throat and took out his camera to take pictures of this hardcore, intense moment.

“Shit? He barfed shit! Blargh! I can’t take it anymore. I’m gonna throw up!”

“What the f*ck! How is it possible for him to vomit shit? It’s too damn disgusting!”

“Let me out! I’m gonna die!”

All his classmates rushed out from the karaoke box. Shi looked like a total idiot. He smacked his lips to make sure that it was shit. He opened up his eyes wide and looked at his startled girlfriend. Both of them keeled over and started to vomit at the same time.

Ding!

Three more hours before the monkey fur loses its magical effects.

“Well, they’ll be suffering for quite some time!” Chen left the scene, his nose pinched together.

Just then, he received more notifications. After leaving the karaoke, he broke out in laughter, almost fainting as he ran out of breath. Chen was elated as he thought of how the merciless gold digger Bing and the arrogant punk Shi were suffering inside. Of course, he will never forget that it was only possible because of the Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms.

“This monkey fur is good stuff! Sadly, there’s only one left, I’ll have to use it wisely. I should go to a place to check out the other two other two packets I received earlier on.”

Chen calmed himself down and ran to a back alley to check his cellphone. “Let’s take a look at The Grand Supreme Elderly Lord’s Eight Diagram of Godly Prediction! Lord Lao Zi is the head of SanQing. His position is super high. His stuff should be super good!”

Chen opened up his treasure chest and pressed the receive button excitedly.

Wee!

A ray of bright light shone out from his cellphone and the light started to take form before his eyes.

Taichi, two complementary forces, four aggregates, five elements, eight diagrams, ten decimal cycle, twelve duodecimal cycle, twenty-four solar terms, stars of heaven, and a myriad of living creatures. The rentire universe was in front of him.

“Cool! Hollywood’s CGI has nothing on this!” Chen was really impressed.

Ding!

The owner of Eight Diagrams of Godly Prediction can predict misfortune and fortune, deliver good and luck, analyze Feng Shui formation. Do you want to use it?

“Oh yes! Of course I want to use it!”

A mythical looking circular symbol marked itself on the back of Chen’s hand when he clicked on his cellphone. He raised his left hand and started to make some predictions, having had the divine knowledge instantaneously placed in his mind, by some supernatural force.

“Come on! Time for the master to foresee today’s luck.”

Chen already had a full understanding on the inner workings of the Eight Diagrams. Those amateur, those bogus Feng Shui Masters were nothing, compared to him. He was the true Feng Shui Master now. All of a sudden, his eyes flashed open and he said in great surprise, “Ooh, romance is coming from the south.”

Just as he finished foreseeing his luck, he saw an extremely gorgeous lady running towards him. Her facial features were delicate beyond compare, her white, silky skin even reflecting light. Her tall frame and slender body were like those of a Victoria’s secret model’s. Her gracefully long and fair legs were out of this world. A single glance of her would ignite any man.

Chen recognized her and said, “Lan Mengchen. One of the four hottest girls in school! A total of four hottest girls were chosen in the school forum. She is known for her perfect facial features and her off-the-charts cool factor. She is extremely low profile, and even with the powerful research capabilities, no negative rumors about her could be found. She was a well-known goddess among the students. When Bing was still with Chen, he never really paid much attention to her. Looking at Lan now, he was truly entranced by her beauty. Compared to her, Bing was a pile of garbage.

“Help! Please help me, mister…” she screamed as she ran into Chen’s embrace.

“So soft….” Her generous, soft chest was pressing against Chen’s body. Blood nearly spurted out of his nose.

“Soft?” Lan was too nervous to realize what he was talking about. She kept turning her head back, her beautiful eyes looking out for something behind her.

*Cough!*

“It’s nothing…” Chen shook his head and asked, “what happened to you?”

“Hmm! Let me tell you!” A fierce looking man with red hair approached him. He said arrogantly, “She belongs to me, and she is going to accompany me tonight!”

He had at least ten followers with him. At one glance, Chen knew that they were a group of gangsters.

“Mister, please save me. I will definitely repay for your good deed!” Lan tugged at Chen’s sleeve nervously.

“Erm…Miss, I’m outnumbered here, how am I going to save you?” Chen felt sweat dripping down his head. He was just a normal university student, and he had almost failed his physical benchmark test. There was no way that he could fight against this group of gangsters.

“Novels always say that when a gorgeous lady is in danger, the male protagonist will definitely save her.” Lan was very anxious. It looked like she was simply looking for someone to get her out of this mess, and she came to Chen, because there was no one else around.

“Er, miss, we are in the real world, not a novel. If I try to play hero here, I will be beaten up like a helpless dog,” Chen said, there was unmistakable tension in his voice.

“Asshole, if you don’t want to be beaten, get lost! Don’t stop our Fire “Grim Reaper” Boss from his pretty prize!” A bald guy stepped out from the group of followers, uttering those words menacingly.

“Hmm?”

Suddenly, Chen stared at the boss with his eyes wide open and said, “Don’t come any closer, I can sense the spilling of blood close by!”

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